Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What's Your Number

You meet a man and after a few weeks of dating bliss he pops the question...No not that question. He asks you how many sexual partners you've had. What do you do? Do you lie and leave a few of those escapades out? Do you answer honestly and hope that your "number" isn't too high for him? I'm pretty sure we've all seen the trailer for What's Your Number? the romantic comedy staring Anna Faris, a woman determined to track down all 20 of the men she's had relationships with to figure out what went wrong. I'm sure the story puts quite an entertaining spin on what can be a very awkward situation. The truth of the matter is, I was once asked about my sexual partners by my then boyfriend. Although my "number" wasn't very high, I knew it was higher than his so I lied. Back then, I wasn't sure why I felt the need to lie, but looking back, I realize I was afraid of him judging me based on a few youthful indiscretions. And let's be honest, as women we are taught not to be like, "those girls," or "loose." It's one of those absurd double standards placed on the female gender by society. A man can have as many sexual "conquests" as he likes while us women are barely allowed to publicly acknowledge that we enjoy sex, let alone actually admit that we've had more than a few partners. As I've gotten older and more comfortable in my sexual skin I no longer feel the need to lie about the number of partners I've had; however not only do I refuse to answer the question if asked, I also refuse to ask others. It doesn't matter to me how many women my partner has been with in his past, all that matters to me is that I'm his present and future. Happy, healthy relationships shouldn't focus on past partners but should focus on being safe! The only thing I want to know about your past is when was your last test and when are we going together. Once that's been established, there's noting sexier than a couple exploring sex without limits :-).


  1. My concern has never really been how many its more of a what kind? Are you using protection, what kind of freaky stuff are you into? I want to know what I'm getting involved with. If the number comes up so be it but I cant sit around mad about the past. I wasn't there. Not my problem. As for me. I lie. Everyone cant handle the truth and I don't have time to deal with your self esteem about something that didnt concern you.

  2. I agree Alicia. I don't believe in asking or answering that question. My sexual past is my business. However my & his STD/HIV status are the most important sexual questions. The rest we can figure out & enjoy safely after we are tested together & get a clean bill of health.

  3. I've never been asked that question nor would I feel the need to ask it. I ask other question like" are you into butt sex?" " you ever look a man and say to yourself, damn he's fine!?" "You find white woman more attractive than black women?" A yes response to any of those is a deal breaker for me.