Breaks ups suck. The only thing worse than a bad break up, is listening to the radio and thinking every song was written specifically about the demise of your relationship which in turn brings on massive amounts of tears, typically in public places. What’s even worse is all too often we have our own break up songs that we keep on repeat in hopes of simultaneously singing and crying our break up pains away. As I navigate my way through the jungle of newly found singleness I found myself repeating the song and cry ritual until I (re) discovered Elle Varner. Ms. Varner is part of the BET Music Matters tour and her newest single, “Only Wanna Give It To You,” is the perfect “throw on your summer dress, have a mojito on a rooftop bar and dance” feel good song. The most ironic thing about my new favorite break up song; Elle is singing about falling in lust, like, love; whatever you prefer to fall into. Listening to her sing about being held hostage by this man’s kisses made me realize that love can and should be fun. I look forward to the butterflies in my stomach and wanting that certain Mr. more than a new pair of shoes. Until then, I’ve channeled that heartbreak into rediscovering all of the things I’d abandoned when I became we: dinner parties with my girls, independent films and dance nights that end with pizza at 3:00 am. I’ve since downloaded Elle’s mix tape Conversational Lush, a witty collection of songs that encourage me to get up, dance and fall in love all over again.