Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Leave My Womb Alone!!
It seems like every time I turn around my womb is being discussed in some form or another. Whether it's the House voting to strip Planned Parenthood of Federal Funds or Michelle Bachmann calling Planned Parenthood a "criminal enterprise," and threatening to outlaw abortion it seems like a woman's right to choose has become great fodder for public debate. And then there's the constant defending of my choice to not become a mother at this stage in my life. When did a woman's right to choose become a public debate? We all know that Roe v. Wade affirmed a woman's right to choose to abort a pregnancy, but now it seems like we have to defend our choice to not get pregnant in the first place. If I had a dollar for every time I had to explain to people why I don't have kids yet, I could probably give Sallie Mae at least half of the cash I owe her. The truth of the matter is, I love kids and can't wait to start my family, but it seems as though the increase of baby mamas and baby daddy's has diminished the importance of having a nuclear family. Blame it on my mama, but I still believe in marriage before children. For years she not so subtly let me know that I better not bring home any children without bringing home a husband and for all the things that didn't stick...that did. My decision to remain kid free before marriage isn't a knock to the many wonderful single moms out there doing it. I was raised by a wonderful woman who played the roles of mommy, daddy, and sibling (yes I am an only child) and I know some extremely hardworking single women who are raising our future Queens and Kings. And while raising a child is probably the most gratifying job in the world, it's also the hardest. I look back on my own childhood with amazement at how my mom managed to move us out of LA and into the suburbs, yet still battle LA traffic to make sure she was home in time for school recitals and award ceremonies. She made sure I had at least one fan at every basketball game and she wiped away my tears when someone or something disappointed me to the point of crying. She made all of it look so easy, but trust me, she let it be known that single parenthood was the hardest thing she had ever done. And that's one of the many reasons I have yet to bear children. While I'm all for independence, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a partner to share that responsibility with. And call me crazy, but I want to have one last name in my household. I have a friend that was with her boyfriend for almost 10 years and had two children before she decided to marry him for that very reason. And then there's the whole financial responsibility that comes along with children. Unless my dear Auntie Sallie Mae starts taking diapers and formula as payments, my current financial situation does not allow room for children. I was seven with a passport and want to provide a similar lifestyle for my children. Funny, but even my dear mom has jumped on the, "When are you going to have a baby?" bandwagon. I would share my real answer with her but I can't be held to deadlines when it comes to my womb (soon mommy, I promise). Bottom line is, I can go on and on about my decision to not have kids right now, but I shouldn't have to. Parenthood should be a joy, not something a woman should feel forced into by society.